The final tale in the Ballad of Skinnylicious is less of a tale and more of a list of oddities. I chose to go this route because many of the remaining stories were not of the PG variety and frankly, there are so many weird things he does I could write fifty blogs about him. So… here it is, my final list of Tyler oddities:
- Tyler is paranoid – This may have something to do with his time in the military intelligence field but… he takes it to a whole new and inconsistent level. He minimizes his digital footprint any chance he gets and wants you to know about it. Yet this minimization is implemented in the strangest, and most inconsistent ways. For example, he will chat you on Facebook Messenger but refuses to have an active Facebook profile.
- Tyler loves tech “Old Tech” – Tyler is probably still rocking minidiscs in his Audi. He loves CD’s, DVD’s, and all manner of physical media. Don’t ask him to download a song or stream a movie unless you are ready for a forty minute discussion on why records sound better than digital. I have often wondered, and asked him, how old does a piece of tech need to get before it is acceptable. Is ten years the cut off, maybe twenty? Who knows, because Tyler can’t tell you, the best you will get from him is that it just has to feel right! Some things get a pass and some things have to wait I guess.
- Tyler smokes a pipe – A real honest to God pipe. Please take a moment to imagine the man in my original post picture smoking a pipe. I am honestly laughing while I type this…
- Tyler has a cane – He doesn’t have trouble walking but he seems to need it from time to time.
- Tyler loves 1950’s Americana – Pin up girls, bowling shirts, old cars if it is from the 50’s he is on it.
- Tyler chooses odd love interests – The more unattainable the girl, the more deeply Tyler falls. Does she already have a boyfriend and adamant about the fact that she is not interested, she’s for Tyler. Is she a single mother who is not interested in a relationship, Tyler is hooked. Is she a rich, supermodel, doctor, who is head over heals in love with him… nope not interested. The more a woman shows disinterest the harder Tyler falls. It is truly a spectacle to behold.
- Tyler only writes real letters – Want to catch up with Tyler via email, sorry you are out of luck. Tyler only corresponds in hand written, mailed, letters. I half expect them to arrive at our house with a wax seal and tied to the leg of a pigeon.
- Tyler is one of my truly great friends – Lastly, and probably the most odd of all is that Tyler is one of my truly great friends… I have many acquaintances, many associates, and many colleagues. There are many people with whom I could share a lunch, grab a round of golf, or catch a movie. I am blessed to be surrounded by a multitude of wonderful individuals, but I believe the pool of truly great friends runs shallow for most, and I am no exception.
Great friends are a peculiar and very rare thing. So rare in fact that I can count mine on one hand, and this includes my wife. Like a perfectly mixed drink a great friend is a well balanced blend of mellow, harsh, and smooth. A great friend is special and I am proud to have one in Tyler Ewing. Tyler’s unique blend of crazy-eccentricity, is mellowed by how much he actually cares about his friends and the lengths he will go to make sure they know it.
Tyler is an odd fellow and does many things that make you shake your head, however, there are also many muted things he does to simply let you know he cares. He may deny many of these deeds if asked but I am here to tell you that all are true: - Tyler sends us hand written letters. When I say us, I mean he sends them to the whole family and to individuals as he deems necessary.
- Tyler buys our boys gifts and has them shipped to our house so he can play games with them online
- Tyler was the second person to call me when he found out about Conner and his surgery
- Tyler calls me almost once a week to simply talk even though I haven’t seen him in-person for more than 5 years
- Although my boys have only met him once, every time he calls they want to talk to him and he takes to time to do so
If you have never had a friend like Tyler I hope you do someday. If you have, you are one of a lucky few.
To Tyler, thank you for making Kara and I’s life a little brighter with your burning red hair and devious smile, we are better people for knowing you and are lucky to call you a friend. I hope these few stories brought a smile to your face and made your days a little brighter.
This concludes the Ballad of Skinylicious!